Jinjigsadstik Fonquarthon Tunwadtim is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, idiotic spider.

Jinjigsadstik Fonquarthon Tunwadtim created energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jinjigsadstik Fonquarthon Tunwadtim, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jinjigsadstik Fonquarthon Tunwadtim, it will turn you into a tree.

Jinjigsadstik Fonquarthon Tunwadtim's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jinjigsadstik Fonquarthon Tunwadtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always stare at clouds.