Padcatkip is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, boastful gerbil.

Padcatkip created the Black Eye Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padcatkip, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Padcatkip, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Padcatkip's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Padcatkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Worship no other gods but Padcatkip.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.