Stipfutbit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-knowing newt.

Stipfutbit created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stipfutbit, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Stipfutbit, he will ignore you.

Stipfutbit's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Stipfutbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.