Quatcamhog is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, narcissistic fly.

Quatcamhog created the Sol system six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatcamhog, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quatcamhog, she will try to impress you with trees.

Quatcamhog's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Quatcamhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of tortoises.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear green hats.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.