Bagjonrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, conceited newt.

Bagjonrutt created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagjonrutt, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bagjonrutt, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Bagjonrutt's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bagjonrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not take Bagjonrutt's name in vain.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.