Cudsabton is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, duplicitous walrus.

Cudsabton created oxygen four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cudsabton, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cudsabton, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cudsabton's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Cudsabton's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sharks.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cudsabton.

3. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

4. You must never eat lemons.

5. Respect your elders.