Xentaflanlak is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, boastful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Xentaflanlak created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Xentaflanlak, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Xentaflanlak, it will turn you into a sheep.

Xentaflanlak's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Xentaflanlak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about rice.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always help geese in need.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Xentaflanlak on top of all buildings.

5. Hide if three eagles approach from the west.
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