Gigrowteen is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, smart faun.

Gigrowteen created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gigrowteen, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gigrowteen, he will send minions to preach to you.

Gigrowteen's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gigrowteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always help sick geese.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.