Lunlagcib is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy salamander.

Lunlagcib created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lunlagcib, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lunlagcib, it will throw large rocks at you.

Lunlagcib's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Lunlagcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snails.

2. Hide from black sheep for they are unholy.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Lunlagcib.

5. Do not commit murder.