Davmutgum is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, tiresome hyena.

Davmutgum created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Davmutgum, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Davmutgum, he will jump up and down on your head.

Davmutgum's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Davmutgum's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Davmutgum's priests.

2. Never think ill of sick eagles.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never run near geese.

5. Never talk about fire.