Larpcubkim is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, humorless jackal.

Larpcubkim created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Larpcubkim, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Larpcubkim, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Larpcubkim's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Larpcubkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Retreat if eight sharks approach from the south.