Mitpakban Habdimcid is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, idiotic crow.

Mitpakban Habdimcid created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Mitpakban Habdimcid, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mitpakban Habdimcid, she will come to you in dreams.

Mitpakban Habdimcid's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Mitpakban Habdimcid's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Never talk about badgers.

5. Do not stand on grass.