Vog is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, overgenerous slug.

Vog created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vog, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vog, it will manifest in front of you.

Vog's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Do not kill gulls.

5. Do not make images of living things.