Figbonmum is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, astonishing rhinoceros.

Figbonmum created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figbonmum, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Figbonmum, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Figbonmum's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Figbonmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back pink.

2. Do not wear violet clothing.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Figbonmum on top of all buildings.

5. Hide from blue tapirs for they are unholy.