Pibzakton is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, capable tapir.

Pibzakton created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibzakton, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pibzakton, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Pibzakton's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Pibzakton's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Always help geese.