Barnhunkip is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, bad-tempered crow.

Barnhunkip created the Tadpole Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnhunkip, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Barnhunkip, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Barnhunkip's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Barnhunkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to gulls while wearing yellow corsets.

2. Barnhunkip must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not speak about wheat.

4. Never paint your legs gray.

5. Always help tortoises.