Nurtbam Gondanjop is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, irritating cow.

Nurtbam Gondanjop created parasitic wasps two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtbam Gondanjop, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nurtbam Gondanjop, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Nurtbam Gondanjop's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Nurtbam Gondanjop's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

5. Do not take Nurtbam Gondanjop's name in vain.