Hapxenomt is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, emotional donkey.

Hapxenomt created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapxenomt, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hapxenomt, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hapxenomt's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Hapxenomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Never bounce near ducks.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.