Tonsaswad Mangonmit is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, quiet warg.

Tonsaswad Mangonmit created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonsaswad Mangonmit, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tonsaswad Mangonmit, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tonsaswad Mangonmit's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Tonsaswad Mangonmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Tonsaswad Mangonmit on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about fire.