Pitvigkam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, irritating eagle.

Pitvigkam created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Pitvigkam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitvigkam, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Pitvigkam's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Pitvigkam's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Put Pitvigkam first in all things.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Pitvigkam on top of all buildings.