Vogkonwap Citdussbom is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, generous walrus.

Vogkonwap Citdussbom created life twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vogkonwap Citdussbom, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vogkonwap Citdussbom, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vogkonwap Citdussbom's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Vogkonwap Citdussbom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick turtles.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Vogkonwap Citdussbom on top of all buildings.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. You must love Vogkonwap Citdussbom.