Rowpaklarg is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, overgenerous cow.

Rowpaklarg created everything that exists three million years ago.

If you believe in Rowpaklarg, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Rowpaklarg, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Rowpaklarg's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Rowpaklarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never eat lemons.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never bounce in the presence of hamsters.

5. Do not covet oxen.