Naklidcanart is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, happy squid.

Naklidcanart created viruses seven million years ago.

If you believe in Naklidcanart, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Naklidcanart, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Naklidcanart's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Naklidcanart's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat sharks with great respect.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.