Ciptonvag is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, uncaring horse.

Ciptonvag created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Ciptonvag, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ciptonvag, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ciptonvag's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Ciptonvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near hamsters.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

3. Always look after injured bats.

4. Always help snails.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.