Zengessban is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, caring walrus.

Zengessban created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zengessban, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zengessban, it will turn you into a duck.

Zengessban's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Zengessban's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Zengessban on top of all buildings.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Retreat if six goats approach from the south.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.