Kipjaptarfarncatgilxen is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, conceited troll.

Kipjaptarfarncatgilxen created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipjaptarfarncatgilxen, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kipjaptarfarncatgilxen, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kipjaptarfarncatgilxen's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Kipjaptarfarncatgilxen's Holy Commandments

1. Kipjaptarfarncatgilxen loves mites, so they must be honoured.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.