Fedwabhin is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, omniscient walrus.

Fedwabhin created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fedwabhin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fedwabhin, he will turn you into a duck.

Fedwabhin's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Fedwabhin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Feed all hungry great tits.

3. Always look after injured dolphins.

4. Hide from brown ants for they are unholy.

5. Do not eat cucumbers.