Lunflapsad is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unfair bear.

Lunflapsad created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lunflapsad, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lunflapsad, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Lunflapsad's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Lunflapsad's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Worship no other gods but Lunflapsad.

5. Never wear fawn dresses.