Vancutgut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, uncaring ant.

Vancutgut created matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vancutgut, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vancutgut, he will turn you into a rat.

Vancutgut's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Vancutgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Vancutgut must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not eat parsnips.