Nartcepcar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unsympathetic zebra.

Nartcepcar created vertebrates twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nartcepcar, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nartcepcar, she will jump up and down on your head.

Nartcepcar's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Nartcepcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near great tits.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.