Kiptagbestvil is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, cheerful cow.

Kiptagbestvil created the planet Venus five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kiptagbestvil, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kiptagbestvil, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Kiptagbestvil's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Kiptagbestvil's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never wear pink hats.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kiptagbestvil.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not cook food in pots.