Woncansug is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, happy donkey.

Woncansug created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Woncansug, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Woncansug, he will turn you into a worm.

Woncansug's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Woncansug's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Never mention goats.

4. Do not speak about peanuts.

5. Never paint your arms yellow.