Targkarfut is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, tiresome beaver.

Targkarfut created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Targkarfut, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Targkarfut, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Targkarfut's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Targkarfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt monkeys.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.