Cunpakmum Logappdob is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, smart whale.

Cunpakmum Logappdob created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cunpakmum Logappdob, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cunpakmum Logappdob, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cunpakmum Logappdob's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Cunpakmum Logappdob's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head indigo.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Feed all hungry eagles.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.