Yamsanarp is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, blissful porpoise.

Yamsanarp created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yamsanarp, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yamsanarp, he will turn you into a puffin.

Yamsanarp's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yamsanarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never feed grapes to snails while wearing purple coats.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never write about gravity.