Tikbogtonk is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unfair walrus.

Tikbogtonk created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Tikbogtonk, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tikbogtonk, it will turn you into a snail.

Tikbogtonk's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Tikbogtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tikbogtonk's name in vain.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never skip near sheep.