Flytenzig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, amazing slug.

Flytenzig created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flytenzig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flytenzig, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flytenzig's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Flytenzig's Holy Commandments

1. Put Flytenzig first in all things.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Feed all hungry dolphins.

4. Always wear black.

5. Do not hurt shrews.