Kikwikbem is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, almighty hydra.

Kikwikbem created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kikwikbem, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kikwikbem, she will try to impress you with trees.

Kikwikbem's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Kikwikbem's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never eat bark.