Sompibditquillortbarnhan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, thoughtless meerkat.

Sompibditquillortbarnhan created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sompibditquillortbarnhan, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sompibditquillortbarnhan, it will turn you into a frog.

Sompibditquillortbarnhan's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Sompibditquillortbarnhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face fawn.

2. You must pray to Sompibditquillortbarnhan four times a day.

3. Do not dye your hair violet.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

5. Never talk about mice.