Damsafmobton is a god.

It takes the form of a small, all-knowing salamander.

Damsafmobton created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Damsafmobton, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Damsafmobton, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Damsafmobton's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Damsafmobton's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Never sing in the presence of otters.

3. You must never eat nuts.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Damsafmobton on top of all buildings.