Yattpinfun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic fly.

Yattpinfun created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattpinfun, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yattpinfun, she will jump up and down on your head.

Yattpinfun's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Yattpinfun's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

2. Yattpinfun loves mice, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

4. Ducks are not to be trusted.

5. Never go into green rooms.