Mismaplap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, emotional dugong.

Mismaplap created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mismaplap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Mismaplap, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Mismaplap's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Mismaplap's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of sheep.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Hide from yellow dogs for they are unholy.

4. Never paint your arms indigo.

5. Always help goats.