Quartlinbon is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, vain bee.

Quartlinbon created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartlinbon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quartlinbon, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Quartlinbon's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Quartlinbon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help voles.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

4. Never mention shrews.

5. Never bounce near gulls.