Hitvagnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless cow.

Hitvagnurl created the Black Eye Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitvagnurl, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hitvagnurl, she will turn you into a goat.

Hitvagnurl's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Hitvagnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never sing near badgers.

5. Always help sick shrews.