Cussgamkindaggutpibcinvin is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, tiresome mole.

Cussgamkindaggutpibcinvin created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cussgamkindaggutpibcinvin, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cussgamkindaggutpibcinvin, he will jump up and down on your head.

Cussgamkindaggutpibcinvin's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Cussgamkindaggutpibcinvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.