Wanmonnig is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, sage fish.

Wanmonnig created parasitic wasps four million years ago.

If you believe in Wanmonnig, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wanmonnig, she will turn you into a duck.

Wanmonnig's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Wanmonnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

5. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.