Bapqueegjam Somfotbetpit is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-assured toad.

Bapqueegjam Somfotbetpit created dark matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapqueegjam Somfotbetpit, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bapqueegjam Somfotbetpit, she will strike you with lightening.

Bapqueegjam Somfotbetpit's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bapqueegjam Somfotbetpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Bapqueegjam Somfotbetpit must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not kill eagles.