Tafpopciss is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, witless dugong.

Tafpopciss created silver three million years ago.

If you believe in Tafpopciss, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tafpopciss, he will boil you in a big pot.

Tafpopciss' most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Tafpopciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tafpopciss.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

4. Never paint your legs mauve.

5. Tafpopciss must be the most important thing in your life.