Xemcatvab is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, caring lobster.

Xemcatvab created gold eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemcatvab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xemcatvab, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Xemcatvab's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Xemcatvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never eat corn.