Yokhonwig is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, ruthless pig.

Yokhonwig created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokhonwig, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Yokhonwig, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Yokhonwig's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Yokhonwig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink ducks, for they are unholy.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never mention goats.

5. Erect three iron sculptures of Yokhonwig on top of important buildings.